So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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