just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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