I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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