I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
