why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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