Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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