dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
