Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
