I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just googled if crying burns calories
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
