where am i from again
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
