she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
