I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
