Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
