the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
