using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
