dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
