sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
