debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
