i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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