I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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