I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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