apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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