Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
