did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
