I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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