Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
