Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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