i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
