i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
