Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
