uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
