I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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