I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Randomize
