So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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