I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
