The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
