I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
