All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
