Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
