I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
