Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
