all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
