Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
