Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
