i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
