OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
