this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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