I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
