Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
