The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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