is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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